For some wacky and unknown reason, whenever I have a depressing thought (ex: i feel empty inside or i don't know why i act like a jerk to my mom sometimes), my knee-jerk reaction is to think intensely about my situation. And I don't think about ways to proactively change things. I think about why the situation is what it is. And for some reason, that usually makes me more depressed and makes me hole up within myself / i disconnect from reality!
So I've come to a conclusion. When I'm confused/sad, intense thinking does me NO GOOD WHATSOEVER! I must not be a very hopeful/optimistic-minded person or something.
I think I need to give myself permission to act without thinking so much. My mind is not my best friend. And I don't think it has my best intentions in mind (ha). So maybe I need to be more open to acting without being completely sure of why or what it will accomplish. I can think about things forever (and painfully) ............................................................. if I want to.
The decision to follow Jesus is an important one. It shouldn't be taken lightly. But when it comes to decisions like these, knowledge doesn't make it any easier to decide. I know a lot more about Jesus than the disciples did when he told them to follow, but they're the ones who dropped their jobs and left their families to scratch the itch that was Jesus. It's always a risk.
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4 comments:
thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts online, ekim :) it keeps at least me accountable for some things this summer!
in response...
welps, I guess we don't have much of a risk since we know a lot more :) now all I have to do is actually apply that in my life...
haha remember peter and the wacky experience in the middle of the wilderness. yeah I should remmeber that, too.
jia you! add fuel!
hi eric! i feel flattered to be bookmarked on your blog...yay!
what wacky experience in the middle of the wilderness? i don't remember - care to remind me?
when peter was prompted by the holy spirit to walk into the middle of the wilderness and wait. Then the eunuch from Ethiopia came along, and the holy spirit told peter to approach the chariot without any other instructions. Then peter went over, and saw the ethiopian reading from the book of Isaiah! Then they started talking about it, the ethiopian leader got baptized, went home, and started the church in ethiopia! just incredible :)
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